i hate you as big as once i like you, now i like you nothing as i hate you never before

ok i think some of you already know what's on it
if you think i'm having a HUGE fight with my bestfriend, you got it all wrong

i'm not fighting. i just taking a step to protect my dignity
it's a process of life

i've been a fool enough thinking that a person whom i thought was my bestfriend, is actually not a bestfriend
not a friend at all

he doesn't respect me at all, he only realized i was there when he needed me

when he's happy?
i'm no one. i reckon he doesn't even remember i existed


i try to talk with him not to quarelling but to explain why i don't feel like i'm going to be bestfriend with him

but do you know his answer?

this is a copy of little bit part of our conversation :


lu jg maen ma rici molo kn? --> you're playing with richie too, am i right?

g jg minta maaf dlu d klo lu ngrasa gt.. --> i'm sorry first "deh" if you felt like that

mgkn gni x len --> maybe len..
lu lg ada sesuatu gt --> you have something(problem)
y ga s? --> how's that?
sampe buat lu agak sensi ma g --> that made you sensitive and impacting me
jadi perasaan lu kmna' gt? --> and your feeling started to blur everywhere?


biasa len g tmn bae t berjalan aj gt --> for me, usually bestfriend tag along..
ga sampe yg kya status --> no status at all
bukan yg kya pacaran gt len --> different with dating


mgkn itu yg bikin lu srg pisah ma tmn bae lu x --> maybe it's the reason why you separated with your bestfriend a lot
inget ga dlu kn lu deket mas s _______ --> remember when you used to get really close with ____
ma yg laen jg --> and the others
tp jd jauh jg --> but you're tagging far with them
mgkn standart tmn bae lu terlalu tinggi len --> maybe your standard of bestfriend is too high?
mgkn standart yg lu pake t standartr org pacaran? --> maybe the standard you're using is the standard of lovers?
y ga s? --> yeah?


*indonesian version*

tanggapan gue nih ya:

1. kok jadi bawa2 richie sih? apa hubungannya coba? sarab. tapi gue maen ama richie kalo elu butuh gue gue ga pernah tuh ninggalin elu.

2. "gue juga minta maaf dulu DEH kalo elu merasa gitu" haha don't you think "ok-i'm-sorry-if-that-is-what-you-wanted-to-hear-but-uh-i-don't-think-i-made-a-mistake-here" ckck kalo gamaw say sorry yaudah lah

3. ini pertanyaan buat elo pada yah? apakah arlene yang elu kenal itu brain damage(iya gue tau gue autis dan rada2 brenda.. ) tapi intinya gini, apakah arlene yang elu pada kenal itu gak bisa bedain masalah dan mixing up masalah yang satu dengan yang lain? mungkin gak sih gue konfrontasi temen baek gue gara2 masalah gue yang lain (susah BAB misalnya.. ahaha)

4. temen bae emank berjalan gitu aja. tapi soal status, ya iya lah ada status. status temen baek itu. sekarang kalo misalnya elu berantem ama temen baek elu tapi elu ga ngomong terus tiba2 ngomongin dia dibelakang padahal elu belom bilang ke dia? jadi jahat ga lu? masi terikat status temen bae kan? terus kalo elu sebel banget ama temen bae elu padahal elu belom bilang ke dia kalo elu ga anggap dia temen bae elu lagi. salah kan?

5. standar temen bae gue terlalu tinggi? standar yang gue pake universal kali.. "teman baik itu susah senang sama sama" ... terlalu tinggi kalo kayak begini? WTF deh kalo gini..

6. standar orang pacaran? apakah gue kelihatan sebodoh itu? apakah gue tipe cewek pecicilan yang HBL? ngatain gue abis gag sih. ngeho!

7. tapi yang paling bikin gue sakit ati, "mungkin itu kali len yang bikin elu jauh ama semua..."
mojokin gue abis. so far yang gue deklarasi temen bae itu cuma several people. dan gue ga pernah berantem ama mereka. temen maen gue maupun bekas teman maen gue ga pernah tuh gue deklarasiin "sahabat"


sekarang gini yah, coba deh mikir
gue ngomong dengan harapan yaudah lah jadi temen biasa aja
gak usa pake acara temen bae temen bae

sampe gue masih mau perjuangin supaya gag ada apa2..

tapi respon yang gue dapet kayak begini..

gimana gak sebel?
gimana gak keki?

kayak gini sih, jangankan jadi temen .
"kenal aja gue enggak mau"

tapi dibalik itu dia ada baiknya kok.. gue gak akan pernah lupa budi baiknya..
dia pernah jadi temen baik gue yang baik banget..


sebenarnya orangnya baik.. cuma mungkin emank bukan bestfriend material
gue wishing him the best..


=)

kita akan satu kampus nanti
gue harap sih gue akan mature enough buat biasa2 aja..

cuma sekarang emank sih gue lagi panas.. maklum darah muda... heehee

*english translation*

too lazy.. haha later everyone!! syalala~